Jester and the Dignity at Work Policy

A couple of weeks ago, we were sent our Dignity at Work policy by e-mail. This was to be "cascaded" to anybody without e-mail accounts so that everybody would have to obey the rules. By the way, I love office-speak. Don't say pass, say cascade. It's a bit like Newspeak in 1984, if a (tiny) bit less sinister. This policy has caused much amusement in the Complaints Department in the Dark Satanic Mill because we're now not allowed to take the piss out of each other in case we offend:

a) each other,
b) the powers that be or
c) some over-sensitive, bleeding heart liberal who just happens to be in earshot.

Great. I'm now no longer allowed to tell my Team Manager that Jasper is coming over all queer. Jasper is no longer allowed to call me Dolly Looselegs (and yes, it is a slanderous nickname). He's not allowed to call Mr Grumpy Grandad and I'm not allowed to call Mr Grumpy Mr Grumpy and, as my Manager said so unhappily, she's no longer allowed to call me a Lanky Streak of anything.

The really sad thing is that, although there are some words that are really beyond the pale and I would hesitate to use them in this blog, even as examples, others are used as badges of pride. Jasper does not mind me saying he's coming over all queer again (I sometimes use the plural, which makes him scream with laughter) or calling him a poof. He regularly refers to himself as a poof but taking the piss out of each other can be a very strong indication of how much a member of the team you are. It can show acceptance of the highest order. Jessina is not offended when I tell her she has a big gob. For a start, it's true, she does, but also she knows that I have the confidence to tell her that when I'm white and she's asian. She also has the confidence to take the piss out of me in return. That has to be a good thing.

So, let's rewrite the dignity at work policy and keep it simple:

Don't be offensive
Treat others as you would wish to be treated yourself
Keep your sense of humour

and don't forget to tell the Gay Ian Paisley the Irish Electrician joke at least twice a year.